When I started to write this post, I thought, "Is it too soon?" But honestly I have been trying to get started with getting started for the last 6 months if not everyday for more than a year. Then if I go further back and count the times I said, "This is it. I am doing this," and still didn't make it to Day 6, well, let's just say it is A ...L...O...T!
So in the true spirit of taking this one day at a time, I am going to embrace Day 6 because Days 4-5 were really tough.
For example, Day 4:
I get up at 6:00 super pumped and ready to hit the gym first thing. I get dressed, head downstairs to fill my water bottle and think I'll just tidy up the kitchen a bit before I go. 20 minutes later I am in my car and think, "Man, I am tired and would love to go back to bed. Do I really have to go to the gym now? It's Saturday..."
I literally had to force myself to go.
Get to the gym. Get on the elliptical. Feel like I am crawling. I am fighting for each rotation. I know I am going slower than the day before. I keep watching the clock:
- Should I stop now?
- Is 20 mins good enough?
- You did it, 30 mins is fine. It is better than you did last Saturday.
- It's the weekend. You'll get exercise cleaning the house and stuff.
- 45 mins is close enough.
- 50 mins is good. You don't need the cool down. Just go slower now.
Gym is closed on Sundays so I got up at 8:00-ish. A little stiff and a tad sore. My plan was to make breakfast, clean up the kitchen/family room a bit, maybe start laundry and go for a walk at 11:00. To be clear, this has pretty much been my weekend plan everyday for the past year so the pressure was on to ACTUALLY GO for the walk.
- 10:35-ish I start sorting laundry
- 11:20-ish first load is in (clearly I am not walking yet)
- Since I missed my start time, might as well keep cleaning. I am on a roll.
- Vacuum house, scrub floors
- 1:00 and we are all hungry so time to make lunch
- clean kids' bathroom
- keep laundry going
- clear coat the desktop for the study (for my Facebook friends, I decided not to stain it. The gray I tried on a piece of scrap just looked dirty)
I pretty much thought about how much I wanted the walk to be over the entire time. I managed to go a little over 4 miles and I think it was a little longer than an hour. Weather was perfect, I was outside, fresh air, not too hot or cold, but it was torture.
Alarm went off at 5:30 and I thought it was wrong. It was almost laughing at me. I think I grumbled, "Seriously?" Rolled out of bed to sore feet, stiff legs, back, arms... Managed to get dressed, make a smoothie and get to the gym. I was in total slow motion. I tried the bike because of a blister I got from my walk and thought it would rub less but after 10 minutes and feeling like it was doing nothing I swapped for the elliptical. I had planned to go a bit slower and read but this one was bouncier than the one I normally use so reading would be a challenge. Instead I logged another 25 minutes and called it a day.
I totally realize I have been letting my body mush-tasize (new word) over the last 2 years so it is going to take longer than 6 days to feel normal about moving again, but I would really like a date to look forward to. When will these negative thoughts and self sabotaging voices quiet down?
Makes me wonder if skinny people hear them too or is it just me?
Bring on Day 7!