Monday, October 10, 2011

A Little Soul Searching

I haven't been as activity lately with my blog as I would like. When a diet blog goes inactive, you can typically assume the author has fallen off the wagon. But for a mom blogger like myself, I wish my reasons were that easy. Rest assured I haven't given up my kids, my husband or even my job.

On the contrary, I have come to the realization that when I am feeling less than satisfied in any area of my life, I tend to take on more to over compensate for the void. I think I crave validation and control of as much as possible. When things don't go my way, I create more work for myself so I can get my fix.

Let me show you what I mean (keeping in mind I am a mother of 3 whose 2 school age children require more homework help than the average student, work full time, and am the CEO of our household). Recently I have taken on:
  • This blog
  • A few weeks ago I launched my second blog for planning my high school reunion
  • I volunteered to organize and launch a school newspaper via a blog for my children's school as well as teach students, teachers & parents how to maintain it. First meeting is this Wednesday.
  • Thursday we are having a taco bar pot luck for lunch so of course I signed up to bring stuff.
  • I am hosting the families of my daughter's soccer team for a season end party at our house this weekend
  • Next Tuesday is the annual Book Themed cake decorating competition at my kids' school. My kids are pretty excited about it. We won last year so I don't think I could blow this one off if I wanted to.

All of these things are fun and individually they bring me joy. I don't want to let any of them go but squeezing them in between my "have to" chores adds unnecessary stress and God help those around me if I am PMSing on top of it all.

Compile all of that with the craziness that I totally do this to myself because I feel out of control. It makes no sense and I have no answers. I am sure it is a disease of some sort and if it doesn't have a name, I will volunteer to brainstorm one.

If you suffer from this and have any coping skills, please share. I cling to a little bit of comfort in that knowing is half the battle. Then again, maybe I am over thinking this. 

Maybe there is a name for this already. Just maybe it is called Motherhood.




5 comments:

Christina said...

No advice at all. You have a very full plate. I just wanted to offer support and hugs. Wish I could help more!

Carol Sandman Branch said...

Sarah: By all accounts (I haven't seen you since your UC co-op days at CPS, but from your work there I think I know you) you are a terrific mom who is doing a stellar job juggling her many roles with family, career, etc. My advice is to just say "no" to one thing. Once you say it once it will become easier in the future. It does not mean you are a failure. It just means you know your human limits. When we try to be "Superwomen" and do it all, it can affect our health and attitude and then things can suffer. Now if you like being in control, realize we really don't have any control. We like to think we do, but life throws things at us and is constantly changing, and we have to adjust. All I can say is don't feel guilty about saying no once in a while. In my assessment, your wonderful blog name says it all. "Tryfection" isn't about seeking "PerFection." It's just doing your best. I think you already are!!! :-)

Elizabeth said...

This is why I don't have kids.

Buy a pre-made cake, scrape off the icing, and start over. In the grand scheme of things, Alex and Anna's 4th and 6th grade cake decorating contest isn't nearly as important as your sanity. Order pizza, and make a salad for the team party. Dump a can of black beans in a bowl and sautee up some garlic for the taco bar- or pick up some wholly quacamole and pre-made chopped up salsa and combine them with garlic salt. Push the dumb blog newspaper meeting to the following week: nobody at St. Thomas will maintain it anyway. Ditch the highschool blog- you seem to be chasing people down for submissions, which hardly seems worth the effor, and quit biting off more than you can chew. You're welcome.

Greg said...

God knows Mindy has this.

Last weekend, we had 2 soccer games, Kings Island and Beauty and the Beast. Mindy decided to throw a Halloween party for her side of the family on top of all that.

Not a week goes by when she doesn't "have to" bake for some event. It seems like someone at her work is always terminally ill and can only be saved by a bake sale. They must have 2 or 3 a week!

On top of that, she's involved in charities. She just ran her big fundraiser. She helped with Joey's walk. And she and Joey volunteer every Sunday at the animal shelter.

Not to mention we take in Bailey almost every weekend!

And then there's the stuff you actually have to do...

Every mom I know does this. Dads, not so much.

Sarah said...

Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent on my own insanity. I believe it is genetic and I blame my mom, so Anna and Ella will blame me too.

Beth, I wish it were that easy. This is the fun stuff I want to do. I would rather stay home and play, but since that is not an option I squeeze it in when I can. Food for the party is not the issue, it is getting everything else ready especially when I will be at the game. Maybe mom will help (she can't say no either ;)

And you know me better than to buy a cake. Anna has seen every Cake challenge, cupcake war and Cake Boss episode. Tuesday will be something grand, I just have no idea what.