A Little Soul Searching
I haven't been as activity lately with my blog as I would like. When a diet blog goes inactive, you can typically assume the author has fallen off the wagon. But for a mom blogger like myself, I wish my reasons were that easy. Rest assured I haven't given up my kids, my husband or even my job.
On the contrary, I have come to the realization that when I am feeling less than satisfied in any area of my life, I tend to take on more to over compensate for the void. I think I crave validation and control of as much as possible. When things don't go my way, I create more work for myself so I can get my fix.
Let me show you what I mean (keeping in mind I am a mother of 3 whose 2 school age children require more homework help than the average student, work full time, and am the CEO of our household). Recently I have taken on:
- This blog
- A few weeks ago I launched my second blog for planning my high school reunion
- I volunteered to organize and launch a school newspaper via a blog for my children's school as well as teach students, teachers & parents how to maintain it. First meeting is this Wednesday.
- Thursday we are having a taco bar pot luck for lunch so of course I signed up to bring stuff.
- I am hosting the families of my daughter's soccer team for a season end party at our house this weekend
- Next Tuesday is the annual Book Themed cake decorating competition at my kids' school. My kids are pretty excited about it. We won last year so I don't think I could blow this one off if I wanted to.
All of these things are fun and individually they bring me joy. I don't want to let any of them go but squeezing them in between my "have to" chores adds unnecessary stress and God help those around me if I am PMSing on top of it all.
Compile all of that with the craziness that I totally do this to myself because I feel out of control. It makes no sense and I have no answers. I am sure it is a disease of some sort and if it doesn't have a name, I will volunteer to brainstorm one.
If you suffer from this and have any coping skills, please share. I cling to a little bit of comfort in that knowing is half the battle. Then again, maybe I am over thinking this.
Maybe there is a name for this already. Just maybe it is called Motherhood.