Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Other Side

This is just one of those stupid things that has been in the back of my mind for the last 15 years. Curious if I am alone in this or if it is one of the (to my knowledge) unwritten, untold, challenges of couples.

I married at twenty-one. I literally moved out of my childhood bedroom the night of my wedding, into an apartment with my new husband, of now almost 15 years. Before that night, we each had slept on a twin bed so the concept of a side of the bed to sleep on was not in our vocabulary.

That very first night we looked at each other and Pete asked what side did I want. I really didn't think it made any difference so I just laughed and hopped on the one I was standing closest to.

Done deal.

Unfortunately, after only a few nights I realized it did make a huge difference. Even in my twin bed, apparently I favored a side of my body to sleep on. I picked the right side of the bed but the majority of the night I sleep on the left side of my body. The only problem with that, was that meant I was often facing Pete and I discovered I don't like being face to face with another person while sleeping.

For the first few months, probably years really, I questioned if I should ask about switching sides, but the more nights that went by, the more stupid I thought the request would sound. So I never did.

I began to travel for work and typically end up in a king or queen and even then, I still sleep on my side of the bed (the wrong side). At this point I have trained myself to sleep better laying on my right side.

Recently, Pete took a little trip out of town. I don't know what it was (well, maybe that I was still a tad hungover from then night before, and that the lamp is on his side of the bed and I wanted to read a little) but I said screw it. I switched our pillows and plopped on his side.

Let me tell you, and I realize this is probably as much mental as anything, but I had the best night of sleep in forever. I didn't even read, I fell asleep for an hour or two with the light on just trying out the new spot. Once I did notice I almost rolled over and off the edge of the bed, but I stopped myself, thank god.

So now the bigger question, do I ask to switch?

Absolutely not. In the parenting field, I need Pete at the top of his game. I figured out how to sleep before we had kids and it would be totally unfair to yank the covers at this point. Besides, given the track record of our family tree, in another 20 years we will end up in our own twin beds again anyway. I will let him have his precious side of the bed and since he doesn't read my blog, it can be our little secret.


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