THE STRUGGLE IS REAL
I was feeling a burning desire to share my most recent journey. So much has happened in the last few months but I have been torn on the best approach. I have launched my own design agency and it has a blog so I considered telling my entrepreneurial steps, struggles and triumphs there but so much of this is personal it didn't feel appropriate for my new business.
Sigh...
And of course I have loved this blog. It has been my outlet through so many moments of the past 7 years of my life. But recently I have really analyzed the name. When I launched TryFection it was a tongue in cheek way of saying how I strive for perfection and it was a fun way to giggle about juggling work, parenthood and relationships in general.
Maybe I am wiser.
Maybe it is because I am in my 40's now.
Maybe I'm tired of striving for something I'll never be.
Maybe I just don't give a shit.
But I think it has taken me this long in my life to realize who I am and be truly proud of it, fumbles and all. So the TryFection name bugs me now, but for the time being, I think I am stuck with it. Just know, I absolutely have no desire to try to be anything other than little old me which goes without saying, is far from perfect.
Speaking of little...
I was born #3 after two older brothers. Before #'s 4-6 were born, the biggest thing #1 & 2 could do to drive me crazy was call me their "Little Sister". To this day I remember how it infuriated my 4 year old brain.
Sigh...
And of course I have loved this blog. It has been my outlet through so many moments of the past 7 years of my life. But recently I have really analyzed the name. When I launched TryFection it was a tongue in cheek way of saying how I strive for perfection and it was a fun way to giggle about juggling work, parenthood and relationships in general.
Maybe I am wiser.
Maybe it is because I am in my 40's now.
Maybe I'm tired of striving for something I'll never be.
Maybe I just don't give a shit.
But I think it has taken me this long in my life to realize who I am and be truly proud of it, fumbles and all. So the TryFection name bugs me now, but for the time being, I think I am stuck with it. Just know, I absolutely have no desire to try to be anything other than little old me which goes without saying, is far from perfect.
Speaking of little...
"I'm NOT LITTLE!!!!" I would scream.
I think that is what made my hair curly. Even then I was 100% certain, I was the boss. I mean I had a crown and everything.
I think it cursed me.
Or maybe it was foreshadowing.
My entire career, I wanted to do things my own way and struggled under leaders with a micromanagement style. I tried several side hustles hoping each would lead to financial freedom to finally be my own boss. But timing is everything and it has taken me 20 years to learn enough about design and the CPG industry that I am confident I am ready to tackle the next 20ish years behind the wheel.
But man, if I could go back and have someone call me little once again... If you read my blogs (I know it has been a while) or scroll back a few you will know weight has been a huge struggle in my life.
Maybe because I was always striving for things, never satisfied.
Maybe it was stress from not living how I really wanted.
Maybe I just love food and hate working out. - Yeah, probably a lot of that.
But I have decided to give it another go. This time I am all in:
Please pardon the chicken scratch and any spelling errors. Taking a pic of my journal was a last minute decision but it gives a good idea of what I am working on. And yes, there are tons of apps and trackers and I have tried several, but I am stubborn and I like my way just fine.
I have been struggling with finding foods I like which are low calorie, high protein, low fat and low carb. It is a bit of a puzzle and I am enjoying the challenge. I get excited when I find a new solution. There have been days where I am totally full but still hovering around 1000-1200 calories and I am supposed to be consuming 1660. That is more than I ever have on any weight loss plan.
After reviewing my food journal, my trainer said I need to get in more veggies and watch my fats. Boo. But she is the one boss I am happy to take orders from, so here was tonight's dinner:
WEEK 1 RESULTS:
I think it cursed me.
Or maybe it was foreshadowing.
My entire career, I wanted to do things my own way and struggled under leaders with a micromanagement style. I tried several side hustles hoping each would lead to financial freedom to finally be my own boss. But timing is everything and it has taken me 20 years to learn enough about design and the CPG industry that I am confident I am ready to tackle the next 20ish years behind the wheel.
But man, if I could go back and have someone call me little once again... If you read my blogs (I know it has been a while) or scroll back a few you will know weight has been a huge struggle in my life.
Maybe because I was always striving for things, never satisfied.
Maybe it was stress from not living how I really wanted.
Maybe I just love food and hate working out. - Yeah, probably a lot of that.
But I have decided to give it another go. This time I am all in:
- Working from home getting my new business running allows me a flexible schedule so I can workout when I want.
- Right now, I am focusing on new business which has been so inspiring. After hours at my computer, I feel invigorated and ready to take on my parental chores. When I worked for others and came home each night, I did what I had to for my family then vegged out on the couch to mentally unwind from the day's chaos and stress. I was mentally exhausted.
- I have enlisted a personal trainer to help me and keep me accountable, as well as kick my ass. Cardio alone wasn't cutting it.
- I am counting Macros (calories, fats, proteins, carbs). It is rigorous and for a self proclaimed food journal hater, it sucks. But it works so I am doing it.
Please pardon the chicken scratch and any spelling errors. Taking a pic of my journal was a last minute decision but it gives a good idea of what I am working on. And yes, there are tons of apps and trackers and I have tried several, but I am stubborn and I like my way just fine.
I have been struggling with finding foods I like which are low calorie, high protein, low fat and low carb. It is a bit of a puzzle and I am enjoying the challenge. I get excited when I find a new solution. There have been days where I am totally full but still hovering around 1000-1200 calories and I am supposed to be consuming 1660. That is more than I ever have on any weight loss plan.
After reviewing my food journal, my trainer said I need to get in more veggies and watch my fats. Boo. But she is the one boss I am happy to take orders from, so here was tonight's dinner:
WEEK 1 RESULTS:
- I haven't been hungry.
- I haven't had unbeatable cravings.
- It has been a week and not a single cheat. Some day, a glass of wine will slip in there I am sure.
- It took me 4 days to start to feel tight vs in pain after my first training session
- After my 2nd one, I was able to go for a 3.5 mile walk the next day, and a third session the day after that. I think that means it will get easier - right?
- Scale = -4.5
- I was doing cardio and trying to eat better the week before this so all in total -8 lbs.
It is a start but along with being in a better mind space to tackle this now, I also know getting fit will help my company. I will have more confidence when presenting to new clients. And if I am completely honest, there are people who do judge and looking good sells. Plus the health benefits, longevity, blah, blah, blah...
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